Sometimes in the world of Kung Fu Movies, bad does not actually mean bad. Sometimes a “bad” kung fu movie is a lot of fun, especially if you are with some friends who also have an appreciation for the ridiculous. For the films on this list, this is not the case. These movies are the ones that make you question how they could possibly have ever been created. The ones that make you go to your friend and say, “Hey Mike, I got this movie you have got to see!!! It is AWESOME!!!” just to watch the growing horror on his face as he realizes that he is trapped (Rule 1: Once you start a Kung Fu Friday movie, you can’t stop until it is over).
1) Fist of Fear, Touch of Death
The first and the worst kung fu Friday movie. For a full review check out http://superfunadventuretime.com/2009/04/27/fist-of-fear-touch-of-death/
2) Pocket Ninjas
I should have known. I should have known that this was bad… really bad. All of the signs told me. From the little kids in ninja outfits holding cleaning implements on the cover (which never actually happens in the movie) to the red, white, and blue American flag karate uniform of the instructor, this movie just screamed “STAY AWAY! STAY FAR, FAR AWAY!” I should have listened.
3) The Swordsman AKA Legend of the Swordsman
Ok, so this isn’t even close to 1 and 2 for being terrible, but it surpasses everything you have ever seen in ridiculousness. Everything gets cut in half or explodes. EVERYTHING! It starts about 5 seconds in and really doesn’t stop. Also known to cause epileptic seizures.
4) Demon Ninja Massacre
Well, there were no demons and really no massacre, but there was an exploding golden ninja. Yes, indeed, there was a stealthy assassin dressed in a bright golden uniform who exploded upon death. Also had the coolest death scene possible on a $10 budget (featuring a leaf dummy being thrown off of a cliff).
5) Ninja Strike Force
Ninja Gordon fights an evil blood sword wielding ninja to avenge his friend the camouflaged ninja. Fortunately all of the Caucasian men were clearly labeled with their ninja headbands so there is no mistaking what you are seeing. To quote Gordon, “Niiiinnnnnnnjjjjjjjaaaaaaa!!!”
