Comments on: August Has No Penis

By: Cain

Cain — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:27:29 +0000

Whatever, who cares what makes you emotional, thats what makes us humans not vulcans right? Ever think that it wasn’t just the movie but that the movie resonated with him (him right?) at that specific time? Come on, stop being so high and mighty, you aren’t tough cuz you don’t let yourself cry much.

I bet I can make you cry Ryan!

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 21 May 2009 21:16:29 +0000

I think Liefield should permanently have creative control of captain america in all his media forms! After all he has such an illustrious career and his talent is so exemplified by the included image. He truly is a master of proportion and he draws hands and feet really well too.

And I don’t think Jesus likes him, I’m pretty sure he’s the work of Lucifer.
Oh yeah, August is two tits and a tampon away from being a swollen sandy vagina.

By: Ken

Ken — Tue, 19 May 2009 05:02:55 +0000

I don’t even know what to say, obviously i have to run out and rent this movie, but I am gonna assume its a mindless action flick. In which case, why would someone cry! Furthermore i’ve seen just about every Van Damme film (save a few of the recent ones i haven’t heard of yet), but i never saw any reason to cry!

By: Yellow Hat Guy

Yellow Hat Guy — Sun, 17 May 2009 08:06:08 +0000

August, tears were not shed over Liefeld. Tears were shed BECAUSE of Liefeld. No one will cry for Liefeld. No one likes Liefeld, except for Jesus, but that’s only because he has too.

Kat, it was before I met you, I was a different man then. A girl was involved, and it’s a long story. Van Damme was not involved, therefore throat-lumping is acceptable, unlike Darren, who spontaneously cried like a menstruating woman. Even then, I realized that movie was bullshit the next day, and was good for the next five years.

HE CRIED DURING A VAN DAMME MOVIE. Bringing me into this is like trying a jaywalker at Nuremberg.

By: Kat

Kat — Sun, 17 May 2009 05:53:04 +0000

You had a lump in your throat at the end of A.I.? I had only one thing on my mind at the end of A.I.: where did the last hours of my life go, and how can I get them back? I’m shocked and saddened that you were emotionally affected by that movie. I thought you were better than that.

By: August

August — Sat, 16 May 2009 22:18:06 +0000

I said that tears were beginning to well in my eyes, i wasn’t actually crying…. wait, that’s still bad i suppose. Wait… come on, who cries over Captain America? Tears shed over Liefeld? i’m surprised all your chest and pubic hair didn’t all fall out at once.

If I have no penis, then i shudder to think of what i’ve been using all along to penetrate your mom’s and sister’s various orifaces.

I would like to let the record also show (too much to record here) of all the extremely manly things i’ve done in my lifetime, above and beyond what most men will dream. One instance of sentimental or emotional response should not negate what i will consider a rather healthy and blood-filled member. Coons: sit and spin on the middle finger……..

By: Joe

Joe — Sat, 16 May 2009 20:11:45 +0000

This is indeed a disturbing universe. Something must be done! Perhaps we need to dream up some horrific trials for him to go through to regain his honor.