Lately, I’ve noticed that a celebrity dies about as often as I change my underpants, because I’m a guy, and I wear my underpants for a couple days at a time, provided I have good air circulation. Kilts FTW.
The whole media is taking its final pot shots at Michael Jackson, who’s been a bottomless pit full of comedy ever since the “Black and White” video premiere. I remember it well. Afterward, my dad stood up and said:
“When he started sleepin’ in scuba gear, I knew it was over,” said my dad, lighting a cigarette. “I mean look at him!” he shouts using the cigarette as a pointer. “He’s actually pretty… in a ‘hideous vampire’ kind of a way…”
That’s why I don’t care if MJ is dead. The Michael Jackson we knew has been dead for some time. Ever notice that all the tributes to him use clips from Thriller? Wonder why? Because even fans are ashamed of him.
That’s why this article isn’t about him, it’s about Billy Mays, because he was 1) awesome, 2) a decent family man, and 3) not a washed-up burned-out homosexual pedophile manchild.
A lot of people loved Billy Mays, and a lot of people though he was a loud asshole. But there is an agreement between us all. Those who loved Billy Mays loved him because he was a loud asshole. He knew it too. Billy Mays knew he was loved, and he knew he was a loud asshole.
From Wikipedia:
Mays was found dead by his wife in his Tampa, Florida home on June 28, 2009.[2][1][14] The Associated Press reported that there were no indications that the house had been broken into, and that police did not suspect foul play.[14]
According to Fox News, Mays had been aboard a US Airways flight that blew out its front tires as it landed at Tampa International Airport on June 27, the day before his death. None of the 138 passengers and five crew members were reported to be seriously injured immediately following the incident, but several passengers reported having bumps and bruises from falling objects.[2] Mays told the local Tampa TV station that some of the objects “hit me on the head, but I got a hard head.”[14] It is unclear whether Mays’ death was related to the incident.
I’m going to with the obvious conclusion that it’s all an intricate scheme propagated by Offer Shlomi, a.k.a. Vince Offer, the ShamWow Guy. He SlapChop’d the tires. Billy once made Offer an offer which he refused for fear of being p’z0n’d:
Offer then killed Mays to save face, and to dominate the late-night infomercial landscape. Offer has the motive, has demonstrated his mean streak before, and was a Scientologist, and therefore, devoid of all morality.
Don’t let him win. Buy ZorbEEZ instead.
June 29th, 2009 at 11:17 am
You should keep a running counter of dead celebrities
June 29th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
this was informative. Billy Mays > Chuck Norris circa 2009
January 11th, 2010 at 4:09 am
Great articles & Nice a site
March 11th, 2010 at 3:07 am
And this is the main reason I read superfunadventuretime.com. Unbelievable pokst.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:47 am
Having been simply looking at useful blog articles with regard to my project research and I happened to stumble upon yours. Many thanks for the practical information!
August 9th, 2010 at 3:51 am
Electronic cigarette also be sure as electric cigarette and smokeless cigarette does not seat a variety of perilous chemicals that are found.
September 14th, 2010 at 12:48 am
What a blogpost!! Very informative and also easy to understand. Looking for more such writeups!! Do you have a myspace?
I recommended it on stumbleupon. The only thing that it’s missing is a bit of new design. However thank you for this blog.
September 22nd, 2010 at 12:56 am
I like this site shown and it has given me a lot sort of commitment to have success for some reason, so thank you.
October 2nd, 2010 at 7:38 pm
Say thank you for share your really superior informations. Your word wide web is great.I am impressed by the information and facts that you have on this weblog. It exhibits how effectively you comprehend this subject. Bookmarked this specific page, will arrive back for extra. You, my friend, awesome! I discovered just the data I currently looked for everywhere and just wasn’t able to locate. What a perfect internet site. Such as this web page your web site is one of my new most popular.I such as this knowledge proven and it has given me some type of inspiration to have achievement for some cause, so keep up the very good operate!
October 5th, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Is it a thirty day riskless trial?
October 25th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Just wanted to say that I believe Electronic Cigarettes have saved my life. I have been vaping for 6 months and been off of regular cigarettes for just as long. I cant tell you how significantly better I feel ever since quitting anaolgs.
October 28th, 2010 at 1:59 am
Hi ? really good website you’ve got created. I enjoyed reading this putting up. I did would like to publish a remark to inform you that the design of this internet site is very aesthetically pleasing. I employed to become a graphic designer, now I am a copy editor. I’ve often enjoyed doing work with computers and am trying to find out code in my spare time.
October 31st, 2010 at 2:37 pm
high daybook you’ve have in hand
November 8th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Your site post is extremely intersting and fanstic,at the same time the blog theme is exclusive as well as perfect,great job.In order to your success.
November 8th, 2010 at 2:33 pm
decided logbook you’ve bear
November 13th, 2010 at 11:40 am
Things i dont comprehend is actually exactly how you are not really a lot more well-liked compared to you might be right now. Youre just so intelligent. You know therefore significantly about this topic, produced me consider it from so many varied perspectives. Its like women and men arent fascinated unless of course it’s one thing to complete with Rhianna! Your stuffs great. Continue to keep it up!
November 15th, 2010 at 3:36 am
I have been meaning to post about something like this on my webpage and you have given me an idea. TY.
November 15th, 2010 at 4:27 am
TY a ton for putting this up, it was quite handy and told a ton
November 16th, 2010 at 5:09 am
Thought I would comment and say cool theme, did you create it yourself? Really looks really good!
November 16th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
For some reason my personal internet browser doesn?capital t display this site correctly? Anyhow, it was a really fascinating post, continue the great work and I’ll be back again for additional
November 16th, 2010 at 11:05 pm
Thank you for writing this, it was unbelieveably informative and helped me a lot
November 17th, 2010 at 12:47 am
TY for the helpful post! I would never have discovered this otherwise!
November 19th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
If you’re like me you know that I can sidestep this partially.
November 19th, 2010 at 9:29 pm
There are more, but I’ll end it here.
November 21st, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Considerably, the article is actually the actual finest on this significant subject. I trust your own findings and will thirstily look forward to your next updates.I’ll immediately grab your feed to remain up to date with any kind of updates.
November 21st, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Can you tell me the name of this design, or is it a especially designed one? The reason I ask is that When I look at your RSS feed it appears to be just a lot of messed up text. Is the problem with your site, or mine? Could it be browser related? Anyone else having this same problem?
November 22nd, 2010 at 3:08 pm
When I click your RSS feed it looks like a page of garbage, is the deal on my reader?
November 22nd, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Is it alright to reference part of this on my site if I include a reference to this webpage?
November 30th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
hey this is awesome and then again here is another great resource, please check it out and lmk your feedback when you can,thanks a lot. i appreciate ya.
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:52 am
Helpful post, this is. It is definitely wonderful to find a article that is valuable.
December 3rd, 2010 at 1:28 pm
I read your website once in a while and I have to say that I enjoy your template and of course your articles
December 10th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Jackson claimed that he had only two rhinoplasties and no other surgery on his face, although at one point he mentioned having a dimple created in his chin. Jackson lost weight in the early 1980s because of a change in diet and a desire for “a dancer’s body”. Witnesses reported that he was often dizzy and speculated that he was suffering from anorexia nervosa; periods of weight loss would become a recurring problem later in life
December 11th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
great thanks \o/
December 15th, 2010 at 11:23 pm
More good stuff!
December 19th, 2010 at 7:57 am
Fantastic web site – But I think there is certainly something wrong with your rss feed. Just needed to let you know.
December 24th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
http://www.mommysblend.com/?p=133&cpage=14
January 7th, 2011 at 5:41 am
we have either one of two things here? All the Kos, BJ, Thiago, Hardy, Hughs, Fitch fans say GSP can’t finish? Either GSP does suck and all you guys holding on to the other fighters nuts saying they are the one who is gonna beat GSP……..Or is it saying something about GSP’s Opponents? Cause when your champion, the competition doesn’t decline, your opponents get bigger and better
January 8th, 2011 at 10:29 am
I would like to comply along with you really here. Which is not really some thing I normally carry out My partner and I get pleasure from perusing this content which will make people believe. As well, thanks for permitting us to help speak my thoughts!
January 8th, 2011 at 4:29 pm
71Miles means a lot of things. Its amorphous. Originally we based it on Healdsburg, our first destination, which is 71 miles from my house. Then the founder of the site, Adam Rugel, pointed out that he was born in 1971. Now, someone just told me that the circumference of Lake Tahoe is 71mi, which I had always known to be 72mi, but whos counting, really?
January 13th, 2011 at 10:39 am
Thank you for taking the time to write this – I found it really good. Are there any more blog posts like that from your blog site?
January 14th, 2011 at 9:42 am
Some good stuff here. Some stuff I don’t agree with, but still worth the read.
January 20th, 2011 at 10:25 pm
I’m still learning from you, as I’m making my way to the top as well. I definitely love reading all that is posted on your website.Keep the posts coming. I loved it!
January 21st, 2011 at 8:23 pm
Very good written information. It will be valuable to anyone who utilizes it, as well as me. Keep doing what you are doing – for sure i will check out more posts.
January 21st, 2011 at 8:53 pm
Heelllo! Just wanted to say good blog. Keep up the great work you’re doing!
January 22nd, 2011 at 1:52 am
I have been checking out some of your articles and i can state nice stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your site.
January 22nd, 2011 at 11:09 pm
BritB is at it again with her newest track Hold It Against Me! Max Martin’s and Dr. Luke’s low backbeat is great with Britney’s electric vocals! This single really makes me want to dance!
January 27th, 2011 at 1:17 pm
This is all very new to me and this article really opened my eyes.Thanks for sharing with us your wisdom.Welcome to visist me blog: Germanium
January 31st, 2011 at 4:50 pm
I Am doing a fiverr gig myself i’m selling 1000 auto-aprove blogs for only a fiver! its amazing
February 3rd, 2011 at 11:54 pm
This post is truly accommodating for somebody who has been having troubles with this position. I have looked at a number of resources but to no avail. I will keep reading and learning here in the desire of ultimately getting past this.
February 18th, 2011 at 1:35 am
Solid post, nice work. It Couldn’t be written any improved. Reading this post reminds me of my previous boss! He always kept babbling about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty certain he will have a superb read. Thanks for sharing!