The internet has opened our eyes to the extremes of the human condition. We’ve experienced testicular fire-setting, skateboard injury montages…. and lots and lots of webcam whores. The ability to see virtually whatever we want whenever we want has pushed the limits of our response stimuli. If you want to see a Japanese girl poop on herself via complex yoga positioning, while in a bathtub…. it’s there, man. I’ve seen that shit……… you can’t go back.
It’s also a place where raw human emotion parades into our consciousness via YouTube superstars with mystical appeal. Let’s talk about anger. I would imagine that a Jewish child who just saw his parents sent away to their deaths in a Nazi camp would still show HALF the anger you are about to see in these videos. If I was kicked in the balls by a clown wearing steel-toed red shoes, only after viewing a forced-watch session of my wife in bed with Uwe Boll (Clockwork Orange-style, of course), i would be mad. Probably REAL mad. guess what: My anger is dwarfed by this child of Legion. You will meet him, and he will pull a part of your soul south of Heaven.
Today, I go on record as seeing the greatest series of moments in internet history. The following chronicles the life and times of a truly dysfunctional person. Allow me to introduce you to ‘wafflepwn’, possibly the worst brother ever. Yet, like Santa Claus, he brings joy to the world: through the exploitation of his psychotic Satan-possessed brother Steven.
To say that Steven needs a roomful of priests as well as a swimming pool full of holy water is an understatement. You have NEVER seen anger in a child until you see these videos.
Username wafflepwn (real name unknown) uploads videos of his brother FREAKING OUT over videogame-related mishaps. Allow me to introduce you. By the way, wait for the 1:10 mark for things you can’t unsee:
Who shoves a remote control up their ass in anger? Anything, for that matter? Hitting his head with a shoe, he asks “Is this what you want?”. The answer is yes. You, Steven, have made 2009 a year to remember. After uploading this video on the internet, wafflepwn showed this to his brother via YouTube and recorded his reaction, where millions of people have found purpose in life because of it. It went as planned:
Oh…. it gets better. AN ORIGIN STORY? YOU WANT AN ORIGIN STORY? DONE. See where it all began! find out WHY Steven’s World of Warcraft account was taken away: what follows is nothing short of brilliance in manipulation and absolute penultimate terror.
Finally, fast-forward to age 16. Steven gets a beat-up jalopy truck as a first vehicle to drive around in, that his parents got him for cheap. His reaction? Wait toward the end for ultimate cash money.
Ok, lets talk about this. I did some research, and found out that Steven is NOT retarded, does NOT have Autism or any severe learning disability. Apparently, he’s moderately intelligent with a small penchant for burning the wick at both ends when it comes to anger management. Anyone who doesn’t want to beat this kid like a baby seal should stop what they’re doing, make an appointment with their family doctor… and DECIMATE YOUR BABY-MAKING CAPABILITIES, because you will be a terrible parent.
Would you like some dessert? of course you do.
July 1st, 2009 at 4:45 am
wow just,…wow… that has to be fake. doesn’t it?
July 1st, 2009 at 12:12 pm
it’s not fake. i swear by it. you can’t fake gold like that.
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 am
wow, some peoples children.
July 3rd, 2009 at 10:26 am
Okay, so the little kid is a bit too obsessed with myspace, true, but he’s also being tormented by three older people. Growing up is hard for everyone, a kid doesn’t really have much defence against that kind of treatment. Heck, if myspace is the foundation of his self worth/confidence, then he’s really vulnerable to cruelty, and to his own doubts.
Steven, well, Steven deserves everything he brings on himself, because he really does do it to himself. He’s old enough to know better, and to have learned better ways of dealing with disappointment.
So yeah, I don’t think the last video was particularly funny or clever, just cruel. Not Zippo Cat cruel, but still.
July 21st, 2009 at 5:47 am
Wafflepwn’s real name is Jack Quire….
July 21st, 2009 at 1:55 pm
sounds like a name Indiana Jones would name his kid
November 17th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
The boys’ mother did a radio interview not long ago, where she admitted that the videos are scripted and that Stephen is the mastermind behind them. Assuming this is true, then Stephen is a comedic genius and could well end up being the next Johnny Knoxville or Steve O. The boys make an excellent comedy team with Stephen as the outrageous comic and Jack as the straight man.
February 5th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
Ok I knew about the 1st 3 videos of this kid, but I didn’t know about the rest. What the fuck? If I were his parents I would seriously have him committed and see what the fuck is with the temper. He threw the microwave, broke the guitar, and took a bat to his birthday truck??? Ungrateful little bastard. Obviously his parents have money, so seriously get him on some heavy sedation meds. HEAVY. And it can’t help that the dad has the dog chase him down while cussing at the little brat (not that he didn’t deserve it), or that the grandma hits him with the paddle, calls him a little son of a bitch, and asks him if he stuck the phone up his ass too (all of which was hilarious by the way, props to her). This is either one very crazy kid with an extremely dysfuctional family, or it is totally and utterly fake. I am leaning towards fake, because I don’t think any parents in the world would put up with that shit. And if it is indeed fake, my god that kid is the best actor EVER.
February 7th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
what is steven’s wow name
February 10th, 2010 at 12:52 am
You made some Good points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will agree.
February 15th, 2010 at 8:03 am
His name is Stephen not Steven