Sorry, about not blogging. I’ve been distracted between packing, sword-fighting naked lesbians, moving back to my ancestral homeland, building quality hardwood furniture, and helping Darren run his dojo. Amidst this, I got a message from my good friend Cera*. We haven’t talked in a while. She wanted to tell me that she was converting to Catholicism, which is funny, because she’s a witch. Sadly, being a witch is not nearly as awesome or boner-inducing as The Craft made it out to be.
She wanted to know if I wanted to blog her story, for my “dirty, heathen website.” I agreed, because as she explained, she’s converting to Catholicism, but with no real intention of believing in it; it’s just a hoop she has to jump through to hopefully snag some scholarships.
“I’m undercover,” she sold me with a wink emoticon.
“Better yet,” I told her, “You can just blog about yourself and use a false name. I can set you up on my site.”
That’s the great thing about SuperFunAdventureTime. We have no sponsors to get upset, we host ourselves, and we’ve no real expenses. (Those aren’t real ads; Kyle just finds them aesthetically pleasing.) As a part to our continued commitment to excessive free speech, Cera has been made a regular contributing author. There’s nothing holding us back from saying whatever we want, and there’s nothing holding you (yes, YOU) from writing on here if you’ve got something to say.
“I think that would be pretty awesome. You would be surprised the things they talk and pray for in mass. It’s a different world in there.” she said.
“As a former Catholic, I know all too well,” I tell her. “Yeah, blog about what you see. Hold a mirror up to Catholics from an atheist-pagan perspective.”
That kind of melted her brain, because she, like 40% of the people I’ve met in the last five years, thought I wore yellow hats every day because of the mistaken belief that I’m an eccentric Hassidic Jew.
Also, apparently atheism and Wicca can go together in an internally-consistent way. This was news to me, I always though that atheism and Wicca would mix together as well as ice cream and mung.
“Wicca, it’s not very organized, so there’s no doctrine. Most Wiccans believe in a god and goddess, and some like to pick from various pantheons and collect them like PokeMon or something. I personally have more of a respect for the duality of nature and I enjoy the philosophies of Wicca. So no, I don’t believe in gods or magic.”
I tried selling her on Taoism, which I think is what she’s after, and got to work making her an account.
“I will definitely be all up in this for a while. My least favorite thing about Wicca is Wiccans,” said Cera.
Well, at least everyone can agree on something.
So, enjoy our new sub-blog, “Cera Blake — Undercover Witch.”
*Actually a pseudonym.